


The Jack Savage Misadventure

by HPLurvkriff



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: F/M, Femme Fatale, James Bond rip-offs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-15 12:23:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7222189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPLurvkriff/pseuds/HPLurvkriff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jack Savage enlists the help of ZPD's two best cops, it turns out to be a nightmare for Nick. And the worst of it isn't constantly having his life in jeopardy but Judy's sudden interest in the new rabbit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Three's a Crowd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is quite a different beast than my last story. And yes, the Epilogue to that is nearly done. Just needs some polishing. I'm a slow writer and easily distracted, sorry.

Part 1: Three’s a Crowd

 

Slumping into the empty locker room, Nick Wilde tossed the plastic bag that held his uniform into the trash. There was no amount of cleaning that would make it suitable to wear ever again. Tossing the spare cloths he was wearing into a heap at his locker, he slowly ambled over to the showers.   
  
As the currently lukewarm water washed over him, he rested his head against the wall and sighed. This was literally his shittiest day on the force.   
  


* * *

  
  
Walking into the main atrium, Nick was surprised at the absence of an annoyed Judy tapping her foot at mach speeds waiting for him. It was just chatty little Clawhauser there to welcome him.   
  
“Hey Benji, got ya’ something.” He had three cups in a holder with him and tossed one to the rotund cheetah.   
  
“Thanks, but you know I’m not much of a coffee drinker.”   
  
“Even if it’s an eclair latte?”   
  
The feline’s eyes lit up like search lights, “No. WAY!”   
  
He took a less than tentative sip and busted out in giggles, “This is amazing! Thanks so much, Nick.”   
  
“It was on special.” He lied; he just thought the cat would enjoy it.   
  
“So where’s Judy? She’s usually berating me by now.”   
  
“Oh! She’s up in the Chief’s office. He stopped by earlier. Said he wanted to see you both. I guess I should have said something sooner.”   
  
Nick waved his fellow officer’s worry away. “Not a big deal, I tossed you the coffee first anyway.”   
  
Lazily taking the stairs up to the second level balcony, he made his way to the Chief’s office thinking about what he was calling them in for before briefing in the bullpen. Last time he did that, he put them on a week long surveillance operation. Boring as all get out, but it had a lot less day to day paperwork. Still, he’d rather have something a little exciting. But in less than twenty-four hours he’d wish Bogo had put them on parking duty.   
  
Pulling the door open, he saw Judy standing in front of the Chief’s desk. Her lavender eyes bright and shining, her little cottony tail twitching happily. Nick has caught her looking like that before, usually in some rare moment of daydreaming. What he’d give to have her look at him like that.    
  
As he pulled the door further, his day immediately started to sour. He saw what exactly was causing Judy to look so enthralled. It was another rabbit, a bit taller than her, a shade darker too. His black tipped ears were slimmer, a tad pointier, and didn’t fade into the grey but abruptly switched with two slashes of black. Three stripes of black fur, almost like war paint, sat on each cheek. And he was dressed extremely well. To an untrained eye he just looked like he wore a business suit well. But Nick could tell, those were tailored. Tailor fit brands from which a single piece would cost him well more than a week and a half’s pay check. If it came from the clearance rack. On sale. With a coupon.   
  
“Oh Nick!” Judy turned to her partner, grabbing her drink out the cup holder in his paw, “Thanks.”   
  
The new rabbit looked at Nick with his steely gray-blue eyes, “Nick Wilde, just the fox I was looking for.”   
  
He looked at the extended paw in front of him. “Last time a bunny came looking for me, it caused nothing but a heap of trouble. So you’ll excuse me if I’m the slightest bit weary.” But he took the paw with a smile and gave it a good shake.   
  
“Didn’t catch your name.”   
  
“The name’s Savage. Jack Savage.”   
  


* * *

  
  
That bastard rabbit even had the nerve to steal Nick’s drink after that. He didn’t even finish it. Complained about it being too sweet, that the mammals on this side of the pond have too big of a sweet tooth for their own good. And that they don’t know how to make a proper cup of tea. That seemed ridiculous to Nick. It’s just hot water and dried leafs. What’s so damn complicated about that? He thought it was just a bunch of Zootropolis snobbery. Sister city across the Antlerific Ocean.   
  
Nick turned the heat up in the shower and took some shampoo from the closest dispenser on the wall. Some of the other officers brought in their own soaps and cleansers, and Nick was among them, but his was all the way back at his locker. So he was thankful that there was a generic dispenser.   
  
He began to scrub the gel into his paws and arms fiercely, knowing full well it’d take more than one shower to do the trick.   
  


* * *

  
  
This little joint task was very hush-hush. Bogo made it keenly aware to the two of them that there would be all kinds of hell to pay if word got out a Zootropolian secret agent was working in Zootopia, let alone with the help of the police force. Thankfully Judy was the one to ask Bogo why Jack couldn’t go through regular Zootopia’s agency, Nick being his usual self got enough ire from the buffalo. And it came down to two things: official channels mean red tape and wasted time, and Bogo owed an old favor to someone who now holds a high seat of authority in Zootropolis.   
  
Jack was on the trail of a large diamond smuggling operation. Supposedly the sale of the diamonds was going to fund some shadow organization’s plan. Which Jack wasn’t too clear on yet.   
  
“Usually it’s to threaten the city with destruction or hold it for ransom. Depends on which way the wind is blowing that day.”   
  
Judy actually tittered at that joke. Tittered! Like some sappy little high schooler. It wasn’t even all that funny of a joke. She never once tittered at any of his. Moan, groan, and maybe chuckle every once in awhile. Lot of eye rolling. Sometimes a punch in the arm. But never tittered.   
  
Jack needed help from both sides of Zootopia. The lawful and the unlawful. With Nick Wilde, he got both in one package.   
  
Nick got in touch with some of his old contacts that were still on speaking terms with him and found out about a deal going down on the northern part of the board between the Meadowlands and Tundra Town.    
  
Which is why they were laying in some shrubbery watching as a Tundra Town septic disposal truck rolled into a small clearing where a few smattering of mammals with another truck waited in the dead of night.   
  
“What’s going on?” Judy whispered.   
  
“It’s a hand off, Fluff. If either of us strolled up there flashing our badges, they’d have the paperwork and credentials of an official exchange of merchandise.”   
  
“Merchandise?”   
  
“You’re a farm girl, aren’t you? What makes good fertilizer?” Judy nodded. “And it’s not like Tundra Town is known for its plant life. So it’s useless there. But I bet you, there’s some well placed bags inside holding the real merchandise.”   
  
Jack smirked. “Very astute, Wilde. That knowledge come from experience?”   
  
“I dealt in cold confections, not warm crap. But I knew a guy who knew a guy.”   
  
She turned to Jack. “So what’s the plan?”   
  
“Once they make the hand off, track the truck to its destination, and interrogate who ever looks like they know something.”   
  
Rolling on to his back, Nick looked back at the way they got here. More than a mile walk through a wooded field with pricker bushes. And Nick was the only one with night vision. Judy was still picking out prickers from her legs as they watched the hand off.   
  
“Thing is, Jackie boy, they’ll be motoring off while we still got a nice little hike before we reach that swanky car of yours. So how do you propose that we follow a truck we will lose sight of for about… oh, I’d say a good half hour or more?”   
  
The work between the two trucks got loud as they began to transfer the contents from one tanker to the other, muffling their already quite conversation.   
  
“Simple.” He lifted up his arm, and fiddled with his watch. Something shot out of it with a soft click, a moment later the watch beeped.   
  
“We track the truck.”   
  
“Oh wow! Where can we get watches like that?” Judy reached towards his wrist.   
  
“Custom made,” Jack pulled his wrist away from Judy, “and not to meddled with without proper instruction. There’s more in this watch than that, and I’d rather keep my paw on my arm.”   
  
“Sorry, Jack.” Nick could see the blush on Judy’s face even if Jack couldn’t. He let out a little huff.   
  
“Should we head out now or wait for everyone else to leave? Not that it isn’t fun watching criminal activities, but I have the best sense of smell out of the three of us, and I might start gagging at any moment.”   
  
Although it’s not the smell that was making him nauseated.    
  
And Jack’s plan went swimmingly until the hyena showed up. Jack was doing some rather innovative “aggressive questioning” of the one eyed taiper that drove the truck involving a water trough. Judy was looking in the small barn, more of a garage, the truck was parked next to. Nick had the dubious honor of searching the truck. The glove compartment held nothing but receipts from gas stations and an issue of an adult magazine called “Porkers”. Looked like the holiday edition too, with all the candy canes and white brimmed red hats.   
  
Nick heard a dissatisfied grunt and what could only be a rabbit’s foot smacking into the side of a skull. Being partnered with Judy he was familiar with that sound. Thankfully he’s only gotten enough ire from her to incur a punch to the shoulder at most. Non-law abiding citizens, on the other paw, were a different matter.   
  
“Hopps, you find anything?” Jack called out as a paw roughly grabbed the back of Nick’s head, and something smooth and cold suddenly rested on his throat.   
  
“Say anything, and I bleed you here fox.” A voice hissed in his ear.   
  
Nick raised his paws in surrender and was dragged out of the truck at knife point. It was a hyena, Nick could smell that much. From his size and what little he heard of his voice, male. The female tend to be a lot bigger. The four of them met at the end of the tanker. Judy gasped and jumped back a bit seeing Nick in peril. She was wound up ready to take action at a moment's notice, but he could see the worry in her eyes. Nick just prayed that wouldn’t be the last thing he got to see.   
  
Jack didn’t look phased by this turn of events. Having someone hold a partner or colleague hostage seemed just as normal to him as Clawhauser going on way too much about Gazelle to Nick.    
  
“I don’t know what you three are playing at, but you made the worst mistake of your soon to be short lives, coming here.”   
  
“Are you the one who will be handling the sale of the diamonds?” Jack asked bluntly, his eyes looking colder than before.   
  
“After I slice this fox open, I’m going to enjoy snapping your neck, and gutting your girlfriend.”   
  
Nick winced. There were so many things in that sentence he dreaded. The least of which was his own demise.   
  
“Nick old boy, I’m sorry about this.”   
  
His eyes shot open in time to see Jack absent mindedly fiddling with his watch. There was a loud bang from behind them, as the tracer on the truck exploded. A hunk of metal from the tanker flew out and smacked the back of the hyena’s head. His knife wielding arm drooped as he, and consequently Nick, were thrown to the ground. And with a gaping hole in the tanker, its contents gushed out, covering everything on the ground in a swill of tundra septic waste.   
  
Cold hose water woke Nick up minutes later. Judy was spraying him down while Jack forced information out of the hyena. It was lucky Judy spied some extra cloths in the barn earlier. They were a tad big for Nick but better than going au naturel. When they made it back to the precinct, Nick wasn’t sure if it was late or early. But he was glad there was barely anyone there.   
  


* * *

  
  
Nick just finished washing the suds from his face when he heard the patting of paws on the tile behind him. Turning he saw Jack Savage. Jack Savage au naturel. It was a locker room shower after all. It would be almost stranger for him not to be declothed. But what really kept Nick’s attention were the scars. Rough jagged lines of pink flesh distorting the natural growth of fur. He knew gunshot wounds when he saw them. There were a couple of slices and stab wounds. One looked like a nasty bit of unsanctioned surgery. The only other mammal he knew that had as many scars, per square inch of body, was a polar bear enforcer in Mr Big’s crew.

  
And the rabbit was toned and fit as hell. He had abs that could probably actually be used as a washboard. Judy was fit but she didn’t pop out of her fur like that. She had tone and muscle, Nick stared enough to know. Admittedly, he only saw what she had over her tight lycra workout clothes she wore when exercising. It’s not like Nick stalks her. There’s a workout room for all the officers, including a small running track. She loves showing Nick that she’s faster than him. Which isn’t entirely true. He can go faster than her, and has, but she can run for much longer than he can. Bunnies got endurance in spades. The view running behind her isn’t too shabby either. There’s a twitchy little cotton tail target to keep his eyes on. Not to mention the way she wiggles her… And Nick suddenly realized he was still staring at Jack while vivid thoughts of Judy ran through his head.   
  
Even with the steam for obscuring him from the waist down, his soggy tail curled around him as a secondary precaution.   
  
The rabbit smirked at him, “Liking what you see old boy?”   
  
“...Scars…” he muttered out as a half truth turning back to the wall and adjusting the temperature, hoping the cold would temporarily wash away the memory of the back of a jogging Judy from his mind.   
  
He cleared his throat, “Kind of shocked a rabbit could have that many.”   
  
“In my line of work, scars are plentiful. You just need to make sure you give more than you take.”   
  
“I take it you you’ve given your fair share.”   
  
“Considerably.”   
  
Nick moved onto his tail as Jack continued.   
  
“We have the diamonds. And the meet for the exchange is in two days at the Golden Sands hotel. During a formal party for a Pawaiian dignitary. You wouldn’t happen to have a tux handy?”   
  
Nick mentally went through his wardrobe that didn’t have a floral pattern. He realized that the best he has is appropriate for court hearings and funerals. God that’s depressing.   
  
“Not really.”   
  
“I’ll take you to a tailor’s tomorrow. Should have enough time to get you one for the party.”   
  
He heard Jack shut off his shower, but instead of wet feet walking out, the next thing he heard was the sound of a towel’s whip crack and a quick sharp pain just below and to the left of his tail.   
  
“See you at 10.”   
  
Jack walked out, towel still wound up, ready for another whip crack.   
  
“I’d prefer afternoon.” Nick called out as the rabbit vanished from view.   
  
“Ten o’clock on the dot, Wilde.”   
  
Nick growled. He was really starting to hate that rabbit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Nick. Always the punching bag. What sort of misadventure is next for Nick? What terror awaits him while getting a suit tailored?


	2. Two to Tango

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick gets fitted for a tux and helps Jack with a black market diamond buyer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long on this! Life kind of got in the way, as it does from time to time.
> 
> Anyway, super thanks to UmbraTsuki (go check his stuff out!) and Magnor for doing some beta reading. Helpful stuff!

The only decent thing about the next morning was the ride in Jack’s car. An older model Aston Marmot that looked like it had just rolled out of the factory. Its silver-birch body was complemented by the chrome bumper. And it drove smooth, even for as fast as Jack was going. Nick thought about reprimanding him but with a car like this you couldn’t help but go a bit faster.   
  
Regardless of the hot wheels, it was still early for Nick. He hadn't reached the state of forming proper sentences yet. So there was mostly silence, which was starting to bore him. He reached towards the radio knob.   
  
“Stop.” Jack commanded. Nick paused.   
  
“Can you fly, Wilde?”   
  
“Not really.”   
  
“Then it’s best you don’t touch anything.”   
  
Well damn. That just made him want to touch everything. If it wasn’t for his knowledge of what Jack’s watch could do, he might have just turned the radio on out of spite. But self preservation won out, so Nick sat quietly with his paws in his lap the rest of the way.   
  
Getting measured for a suit was tediously annoying. Standing ramrod still while a snobbish weasel took measuring rope across various parts of his body was not the lavish experience Jack extolled to him when they entered the shop. It took twenty minutes but felt like hours to Nick. After the weasel was done he rolled his shoulders, soothing his aching joints.    
  
“Are we going dress shopping with Judy or am I the only one getting tortured today?”   
  
“Dresses are simple. Something black or white. If you want color, match their eyes and add something that either complements that color or contrasts it without looking garish. But suits…suits have meaning and power, when worn properly.”   
  
“Seriously?” Nick deadpanned, “It’s for a Pawaiian dignitary right? Why wouldn’t  _ this _ ” he pulled at the collar of his bright blue Pawaiian shirt, “Be good enough? A little slice of home away from home. And I got a slew of them in my closet. I’m sure I got one that’d look fine.”   
  
Sighing, Jack shook his head, “First, Pawaiian shirts aren’t Pawaiian. They were first made by a Japawnese immigrant living in Pawaii and got popular with the tourists.”   
  
The bunny got up and rubbed the fabric of Nick’s shirt between his fingers.   
  
“Second, really Pawaiian shirts are silk. Rayon is just a sad imitation.”   
  
If Jack didn’t have a watch that could blow a hole through him, Nick seriously considered hitting him for such an insult. Only Judy gets to make fun of his taste in clothing.   
  
“And third, if your wardrobe seriously consists of your ZPD uniform and a bevy of gaudy shirts, regardless of impending plans of world domination, I may just take a day and get you a new wardrobe.”   
  
Spend an entire day buying clothes with him? Nick would rather be muzzled the rest of his life.   
  
“No can do Jackie boy, got a full day of lounging about today. Going to have to take a rain check on that one.”   
  
“Sir fox?” The weasel interrupted with a folder of pictures and cloth swatches. “The design needs to be chosen.”   
  
“Black. What else is there?” He shook his head, ready to be done with this ordeal already.   
  
Jack put his paw on the book and gently pushed it away, “He’ll have a single breasted tux, onyx, with a viridian night shawl collar. Matching pants. White spread collar shirt. Black bow tie. And a deep emerald waist coat.”   
  
The weasel wrote everything Jack said down and nodded before departing into the back of the shop.   
  
“Well if that’s that…” Nick started, hoping to get home and catch up on some still needed sleep.   
  
But an older voice called out interrupting the fox, “Savage!”   
  
Jack turned to the owner of the voice, an older badger waddling up to them, “Quartermaster? What are you doing here?”   
  
“Officially, I’m taking my niece to some ruddy boy band concert.”   
  
“Unofficially?” Jack raised an eyebrow at his quartermaster.   
  
“Unofficially,” he put the suitcase on the ottoman, “rearmament.”   
  
Maybe, just maybe, this day might not be so bad.   
  
The suitcase opened and Nick was underwhelmed. It looked more like a showcase for fine office materials than rearmament. Pens, billfolds, cell phone cases, watches. Then it clicked. If these were like the watch Jack used on the truck, they were much more than just trinkets.   
  
Quartermaster handed Jack a sleek pen, “Fanglang-Christoph Model 20. Press the clip and it starts recording audio in high definition surround sound.”   
  
“Ha! Carrots and I used a little carrot pen recorder like that on Bellwether.”   
  
“Oh,” The badger seemed to just now realize Nick was standing with them, “And you would be?”   
  
Nick saw the old mammal slowly reach for one of the other pens in the case.   
  
“He’s my local contact, Quartermaster.”   
  
“Alright then.” The badger’s paw left the case empty and turned his attention back to Jack. “Now, if you twist the barrel and lift the clip, it shoots out a highly concentrated tranquilizing agent able to safely take down any mammal. But uh, anything smaller than yourself and it might just kill them.”   
  
Jack slipped the pen into his breast pocket as the badger pulled out a watch, “Omega 500L. Scratch proof crystal casing with anti-glare. Titanium-steel composite band. Expanded to house 3 explosive tracer darts. Micro-line garrote attached to the crown. And my favorite feature, twist the housing to activate a timer for the highly compacted high explosives inside the watch. Just, ah, don’t be wearing it when it goes off, Savage.”   
  
Nick leaned his head towards the case, “Could I get one of those?”   
  
With a quick glance at Jack the badger took a watch out of the case and handed it to Nick, who gingerly held it by its band.   
  
“So what does it do?”   
  
He shut the case and faced Nick, “It tells the time. Sorry I couldn’t do more Jack, it’s getting harder and harder to smuggle in gear officially.”   
  
“Are you going to be alright Quartermaster?”   
  
He rummaged in his jacket pocket and pulled out a package of ear plugs.   
  
“And if it gets too rowdy.” He twisted the face of his own watch which began shooting out arcs of electricity.   
  
“That’s the spirit!”   
  
Nick stared at his plain, gadget free watch and thought he could at least sell it for some nice coin after the mission was over.   
  


* * *

  
Thankfully the ride back was quiet as Nick fiddled with his new, non-gadgety, watch. It felt odd on his wrist. Rarely did he wear watches but this felt heavier than any he’s worn before. But it was an expensive watch and maybe the fad with expensive watches is to be heavy; to make the mammal feel like they’re getting their money’s worth.   
  
“One of my mates in intel told me about this delicatessen downtown…”   
  
“Remy’s or La Salumeria?” Nick butted in almost on instinct.   
  
“La Salumeria. I was thinking of…”   
  
Of course that’s the one he would have heard about. Plates cost five times their worth with the supposed excuse of being exotic delicacies that are more art than food. Snobbery of the highest caliber. If it wasn’t for his time with Mr. Big, Nick would never have been able to pay for half an appetizer. Let alone step into the place.   
  
“If you’re thinking of going to a place with good food go to Remy’s. Salumeria is just a status symbol that serves standard diner fare with foreign names.”   
  
Such a fine looking car sitting in front of Nick’s apartment building seemed out of place. The mammals around couldn’t help but stare. They rarely got to see a car that wasn’t a rusted beater of some sort.   
  
“Would you want to…”   
  
Since he forgot his sunglasses, Nick decided to be a little nice and shut his eyes before he rolled them. Seems like Jack did want to pal around with Nick. Maybe to torture him some more.   
  
“Yeah, no. It’s my day off. Normally I’d be getting up about now. And you know I had a long night last night. So I’m just going to finish getting the rest I missed out on this morning.”   
  
The look of confused shock on the rabbit’s face made Nick realize that he must not be used to people not wanting his company. All that foreign suave and charm must work on most mammals, but not this fox.    
  
“See ya’ tomorrow at the shindig Jackie boy.” Nick weakly waved as he shut the door and headed inside.   
  
In truth he got about an hour’s worth of sleep rolling around on his bed. Already being awake for a few hours didn’t help him. Neither did the sunlight beaming through the window, the drawn down shades be damned. He showered again, still not feeling totally clean from the previous night. It was edging close to four o’clock by the time he dressed and his stomach was growling. Grabbing his phone, he shot off a text to Judy.   
  
**[u want 2 grab some chow?]**   
  
**[jack just got us a table at la salumeria]**   
  
Nick, not wanting to kill the messenger device in a fit of rage, calmly tossed his phone onto his couch as he felt the anger boiling up. And right before it boiled over, a little voice in his mind piped up saying,  _ Maybe if you took him up on his offer you could be there with Judy. _   
  
“SON OF A BITCH!”   
  


* * *

  
Nick arrived at the hotel after the two rabbits. Catching glimpses of his reflection on the way in, he had to hand it to the rabbit. The suit did look damn good.    
  
“Where are you, Wilde?” Jack’s voice came from his earpiece.   
  
Another one of his gadgets. One small little bud went into an ear to hear and two little pads hid under the fur on the throat to communicate. Even the slightest whisper could be shared between them across the room but unheard by the mammal physically in front of them, which meant Nick had to remember to bite his tongue tonight. A lot.   
  
“Just walking in, Jackie.”   
  
This was a very formal party. The likes of which Nick has only personally seen once while working with Mr. Big. Even then, it was only for a few minutes. Being a courier didn’t allow him the ability to linger.   
  
“Oh for god’s sake, Wilde, lose the shades.”   
  
“Nick, why on earth would you…” Judy’s voice dropped out, a few faint starts were heard before chiming back, “You… you look good, Nick. Better if you didn’t have the sunglasses inside.”   
  
With a sigh he tucked the glasses into the jacket’s inside pocket and pulled out a small bottle of painkillers. Tapping out two pills he quickly swallowed them and headed towards the banquet table. It was dusk and he was still suffering from the hangover.   
  
After coming down from his rage, he had contacted Finnick and went out drinking. His memory went from fuzzy to black real quick. All he had to remember that night was a text from Finnick the morning after.   
  
**[Uz got bunny blues chump! Deal wit it]**   
  
There were three separate banquet tables; small, medium, and large. All of them held the same foods but sized for their intended mammals. Nick could hollow out and live in the towering cake on the large table. Instead he settled for a glass of champagne and some small h’orderves.   
  
“Alright, I’m at the spot. Where are you two?”   
  
“Where we can keep an eye on everything.”   
  
“On the dance floor.” Judy elaborated.   
  
The cracker snapped sharply between his gritted teeth. Looking towards the center of the room there were two sets of bunny ears slowly moving about together among the other mammals dancing.   
  
“We can keep an eye on the whole room, including you, and not look suspicious.”   
  
Nick shook his pill bottle, wondering how much he could take without needing medical attention. He opted for another beverage, grabbing a fresh flute of champagne. If Judy was with him she would give him an earful or two about drinking while taking pain killers. But she wasn’t and this hangover was still hurting. Besides, it was just some generic over the counter brand. He wasn’t even sure if it was working.

“You remember the contact phrase and response?”   
  
When he got up this morning, afternoon really, Jack left a package at his door. It had his suit and all the instructions for the night. Including the code phrases to start the deal that he beat out of the hyena.   
  
“Yeah, yeah. Just who am I looking for?”   
  
“I was hoping you’d know. I chose you for this operation for your local knowledge.”   
  
“Then how come,” he said between bites of some veggie wrap, “I’m not down there trying to spy the buyer and have you do the exchange?”   
  
“Are you kidding, Nick? You know how much of a scene a bunny and a fox dancing would cause?”   
  
She was right and he hated that. But she didn’t have to sound so damn chipper about it. He downed his glass and reached for another.

“Fine, the sly fox makes the shady deal. Yet again.”   
  
Nick scanned the large room, trying to ignore the four ears on the dance floor. A few recognizable faces, but most were legit mammals. Or at least their not so lawful dealings were low key. No one he’d peg for a diamond buy. The second floor acted as a balcony that wrapped around the room, which went five floors higher but had full length windows every few meters. There was a cheetah up there he thought he recognized. Unless he was able to remove the jagged scar over his muzzle, it wasn’t who he thought it was.   
  
“Got nothing. Snacks are decent though. So’s the bubbly.”   
  
“Ease up on it, Wilde. No one buys diamonds from drunkards.”   
  
“Yes, mother.”   
  
That got a chuckle from Judy which made Nick’s day more tolerable.   
  
“Is that…” Jack muttered. “I think you’re going to have company.”

Acting like he was turning back to the table of food, Nick spied a slender figure of red and black coming straight towards him. A vixen about his height, thin with an overly fluffed tail. Her fur was a shade darker and as she turned to grab a drink for herself, her backless black dress showed off an hourglass shaped patch of black fur.   
  
“Well hello there.” Nick swaggered over to her.   
  
“I swear Nick, if you use any of your cheap pick up lines…” Judy’s voice warned in his ear.   
  
“Hello.” Her voice was light and airy, nearly a whisper but still audible. “Rare to see another fox at these kind of things.”   


Jack’s voice came in anxious, “That vixen. Does she have a patch of fur on her back that looks like a hourglass? Cough once if she does.”   
  
Nick put his paw up to his mouth, to be polite, and gave a small cough.   
  
“Too true, darling. But as a species, we’re moving up in the world, finally. The name’s Sean Fuzpatrick.” Sticking with the planned cover identity, Nick extended his paw.   
  
She took his paw and shook it. It felt so soft and lovely. So much so that Nick was suddenly wanting to feel more of that paw.

“That’s...” Jack started.

“Vivian Veuve.”   
  
“...The Black Widow! Be cautious, Wilde. She’s a heavy hitter with the nasty habit of seducing her prey and killing them. And not always in that order.”   
  
Nick froze his nonchalant face for several seconds, taking that in. The very fine looking vixen in front of him was some sort of high profile assassin and alleged necrophile. That really shot any thought of wanting to feel those soft paws again.   
  
“Pleasure to meet you, Vivian.”   
  
The vixen’s amber eyes twinkled as she took in Nick, “Oh Mr. Fuzpatrick, the pleasure is undoubtedly all mine.”   
  
A cold shiver snaked down Nick’s spine.    
  
“Beautiful room, is it not?”   
  
That’s the first code phrase. Shit. There were three total. A start phrase and two confirmation phrases.    
  
“In all of its beauty, it is missing something shiny though.” Translation:  _ I am the one with the diamonds. _   
  


Please say an ice sculpture or sequined tapestries. Hell, Nick would take a disco ball. Just don’t say...

  
“A chandelier would look nice. Give the room some sparkle.” She finished, confirming she’s the buyer.   
  
Goddamn it. The thing about the nice little communication devices of Jack’s is that they only hear them. So they’re just getting his side of the conversation.

“Indeed, a chandelier would be nice.”

“Shit.” Muttered Jack.   
  
“Why don’t you come up to my room. So we can talk chandeliers all night in private.”   
  
“I’d be honored to accept an invitation to your room.”   
  
“Nicholas Piberius Wilde. Do NOT follow that vixen to her room.”

But he had to. This was the operation. This was his job. Make the exchange and then the three of them would bust the buyer. Following her out of the ballroom he watched her tail swing to and fro. Most mammals would be thinking impure thoughts at the sight. All Nick could think of was how much it reminded him of a pendulum. Each dreadful swing bring him a moment closer to disaster. The hourglass fur patch was not helping to derail that train of thought either. 

Her room was on the fourth floor. He prayed that his silence in the elevator was interpreted as stoic or “just business”. It felt more like the silence of the condemned heading to their final judgment. As she fiddled with the hotel card key Nick looked out the hallway window down to the ball room. They were right above the tables they met at moments ago. The last thing he thought before hearing the click of the door was that it looked like one hell of a drop.   
  
The type of hotel rooms Nick was most acquainted with were the kind that just held bed with a closed off bathroom. This was more like an apartment. An apartment he’d be envious to have. There was a couch and a flat screen TV in the main room with several doors and short hallways leading off from it.   
  
She walked to a door, her tail flicked with each sway of her hips, “Give me a moment, will you?”   
  
Nick gave her an affirmative shrug, and she slipped into the other room.   
  
“You two better be at the door right now. Because I’m getting some really bad vibes from this.”   
  
“On our way, old chap.”   
  
“Don’t do anything stupid, Nick.”

“Carrots,” he began in barely a whisper as not to be heard by the murderous diamond buyer, “I’m standing in the fanciest hotel in town with a sack of diamond in my pocket worth enough for the both of us to retire to a nice tropical beach for the rest of our lives, and I’m selling them to some murder happy nympho. We’re well past stupid here. The smartest decision I could have made today was staying in bed.”   
  
The door opened a crack and Nick heard her call out, “You can come in now.”   
  
“Oh goody, the spider just invited the fly into her parlor.”   
  
Nick walked into the room. The bedroom. Tea candles were lit all over the room, illuminating everything with their warm flickering light. Vivian stood next to the king sized bed wearing a robe.   
  
“I prefer to have a little pleasure before getting down to business.” She let the robe fall off her frame, revealing the small, black, lacy, and very appealing undergarments.   
  
Nick’s brain stalled out. Primal feelings welled up, spurred by pent up urges and unfulfilled desires. But those feelings crashed on the dam of duty and civilized thought with a good heaping of the fear of death. The only bit that made it through, and restarted his mind, was a single thought.   
  
_ I bet Judy would look better in that. _   
  
He shook his head as the cogs began to turn properly again. Vivian giggled, “I do have that effect on males. So, Sean, want a little bit of fun before work?”

* * *

  
There had been some bad days in his life. The Ranger Scouts initiation was pretty much the tops. Emotional childhood trauma and all that. Mr. Big and the skunk rug was up there. So was the day of Judy’s press conference for the missing mammals case. But today was shaping up to be a real humdinger of a bad day. A real contender.   
  
He tried to sly his way out of not being bedded and deaded by saying he just likes to watch. That was a very bad mistake. Apparently she abhors voyeurs, and things quickly became a different sort of physical. She raked his face with her claws, grabbed him by his fancy collar and tossed him into the mini bar. She then came at him with a knife as he got up, soaked with alcohol. Must have had it stashed under the pillow. He was able to avoid her swings enough to not cut flesh. Fabric was a different story. His nice suit was now in ribbony tatters around his torso. She also sliced open the pocket that held the diamonds, sending the sack spilling to the floor.   
  
Then she threw the candle. Of all things happening today, Nick never imagined that being on fire would be one of them. Yet there he was, the flames lapping up the alcohol soaked suit. So he did the only thing his body let him do. Scream and run. He ran through the hotel door. Not opened the door and ran out, but through it. Smashed it right off its hinges. Which led to the door breaking through the window across from it, allowing Nick back into the ballroom. Four stories above everyone else.   
  
He didn’t even register he was falling. The flames took up too much of his thoughts. Although he was starting to wonder why the second phase of stop, drop, and roll was taking so long. If he was more aware of the fall he would be wondering whether or not he’d survive the sudden stop. Maybe he’d just be in a body cast for a few months, as a best case scenario.   
  
But it wasn’t sudden broken bones or extreme cranial trauma that made him switch gears. It was the fact that he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t remember there being a pool in the ballroom. With a few kicks he broke the surface and gasped in air. Some cut up pieces of citrus fruit bobbed against him in the red liquid. He was saved by the elephantine bowl of punch. Taking a moment to revel in his survival, he floated on his back in the crimson pool. And that’s when he noticed the door was now falling as well.   
  
Liquid really slows down movement for most mammals, so the best and quickest thing Nick did was curl into a ball and try to be as small of a target as possible. Hoping beyond hope that it would miss him. And with his small stroke of luck, it did. Just hitting the rim of the bowl it poured him onto the floor of the ballroom before bouncing back into the air.

He got up, sopping wet with punch, suit slashed and burned, and with singed fur. There was a loud clatter as the door made its final landing, sounding like it cracked in half. The guests all gasped in shock. One of them screamed in fright.

“Cake!”   
  
Nick looked at the crowd wondering why cake would be fright worthy. They were all looking up. He turned and looked up as well. Turns out the door smashed into the medium sized mammals table and snapped it in two, sending the cake skyward catapult style. He had time to move but his brain wouldn’t let him. After being on fire and surviving a several story fall his brain didn’t register a flying cake as much of a threat to his life and safety. And so the frosting covered confection landed squarely on the soaked fox.   
  
Well it sure beats being covered in sewage.

 

* * *

 

Nick made it half a block out from the hotel’s entrance before he was stopped. Judy was calling his name. Her voice rang in both ears. Turning he saw her running up. Her dark violet dress shimmered in the bright lights of the hotel’s awnings. A green sash tied at her waist. She was stunning.

“Nick, wait!” Her worried eyes looked him up and down, “Are you alright?”   
  
“I’ll live.”   
  
“Nick…” She stepped forward, stretching her arms out. She was going in for a hug. He would have given just about anything for a good hug at this point. Especially from Judy. But Nick placed a single finger on her forehead, keeping her at arm’s reach.   
  
“Carrots, don’t. I’m a mess.” He motioned down at his ruined suit, still smeared with a slurry of cake and punch. “One of us needs to still look absolutely ravishing and it looks like you have to carry that burden.”   
  
Her ears flushed before dropping behind her head. With her arms lowered, she began to nervously squeeze her own paw.

“Will you be alright? Do you want me to…”   
  
Their earpieces chimed in,  “She’s gone. Took the diamonds and the cash with her.”   
  
Judy clenched her paw, “Well she couldn’t have gotten far. We could…”   
  
“No. Leave it. She’s gone. And she’s too dangerous for either of you.”

“Yet you didn’t stop me from going up to her room.” Nick muttered forgetting that he could be heard.

“I’m sorry, Wilde, but that was a chance we needed to take. Damn glad you made it out though.”

Turning away from the hotel again, he began walking towards the closest train station, “Then if we’re done here, I’m heading home before the hotel bills me for the damages.”

“Nick,” Jack’s voice was more stern than usual, “Vivian is very dangerous and doesn’t like her prey getting away from her. I don’t think you should be alone tonight, she might try and finish what she started. You should stay with me tonight.”   
  
That was a terrifying thought. Having a sleepover with Jack Savage. Nick looked back to see Judy a few steps behind him.   
  
“Carrots, can you do me a favor? Text Finnick and have him pick me up. Tell the little guy ‘daddy’ needs a ‘pool party’. He’ll know what you mean.” The back of Finn’s van would be covered in a plastic tarp with lots of towels and some extra clothes in the passenger seat.   
  
She nodded and pulled out her phone. It was odd that those two got along. But Nick was thankful Finn was as accepting of his career change, and the friendliness he’s shown to Judy. Although there was a fear floating in the back of his mind of what kind of hell the two of them could wreak upon him if they joined forces.   
  
“Look Wilde, she isn’t some mob enforcer. She’s…”   
  
Nick missed what Jack had to say as he pulled the earpiece out.   
  
“So much better.” He scratched at the vocal pads on his neck. “Tell super spy I’m sleeping in tomorrow, Fluff. Night.”   
  
“Be careful, Slick. Okay?” He didn’t bother responding as she quickly became occupied explaining the situation to Jack. ”No… He took them off… Finn’s his friend… Because he’s a fennec and... ”   
  
Making it to the end of the block he leaned on a lamp post and waited to hear the telltale backfiring of Finnick’s van. He looked at his watch, ready to start timing the fennec. Punch poured out of it and a portion still swam around under the crystal faceplate. It was heavy and expensive but not water proof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cake and fur is a terrible combination. I almost wanted to have Nick be shaven at the start of chapter 3, although I think he would have preferred that with how it does start. But man his water bill is going to be crazy high with all the showers he's taking.
> 
> Speaking of chapter 3, I wanted this tale to just a few short scenes but now part 3 is 20 pages of a 40 page google doc. And I'm not finished with it. Near the end though.
> 
> Hope everyone's having a good time!


	3. The One and Only

There was a hope that the incident at the hotel would be the last. No diamonds, no cash, no goon to beat answers out of like a pinata. Which meant no leads and the case would be dried up. Too bad, so sad. Goodbye Jack, don’t let the door hit your tail on the way out.

 

But when Nick woke up late the next day, still feeling sticky, and saw many missed messages from both rabbits, that hope died a quick but torturous death.

 

Because of The Black Widow's peculiar proclivities, there were only a handful of people willing to deal with her. Jack just went off that and dug around to see if anyone from that handful were working in the area of Zootopia. And luck would have it there was one world threatening sociopath that fit the bill, a lion by the name of Auric Khan. Better known as Goldeneye, due to having replaced his scarred left eye with a gold plated cybernetic. He just so happen to own a brand new factory out in the far reaches of Sahara Square.

 

Jack took a few days to go solo; scope out the factory and find someone worth interrogating vigorously. Those days should have been a blessing, as Nick could just hang out with Judy like it was any regular day off. Instead of grabbing a bite and bantering wittily between them Judy fretted about Jack working alone, hoping that he didn’t need their help, wondering if they should just head out there to help him anyway, telling Nick about what little she was able to find out about Goldeneye from her own online sleuthing. It was tempting to ditch the raving rabbit and go drinking with Finn again but being set on fire was  wonderful aversion therapy. Add to it that he figured if he left Judy alone, she would actually attempt to find and help Jack by herself.

 

The next night Nick got a text from Jack.

 

**[8am. Be ready.]**

 

* * *

 

The plan was simple. As simple as plans to sneak into a world dominating sociopath's fortress can go at any rate. Nick, with the uniform Jack stole, would walk in like he worked there and cause a distraction which would let Jack and Judy inside. Once in, the bunnies would swap the guidance chips so that mirrored satellites would target one another instead of some famous landmark or government building. In the ensuing chaos of not causing world wide calamity, Jack would use his watch-bomb to destroy the laser. Simple.

 

Unless someone got caught. Then the plan would be as good as having Finnick on your basketball team; pain and swearing for all parties involved.

 

But at least Nick wasn’t the one who screwed it up. He was going to lord that over the pretentious little Zootropilian bunny so much. If they made it out of this alive.

 

Still in the ghastly black and gold uniform of one of Goldeneye’s goons, it was now up to Nick as he listened to Judy and Jack get restrained and searched. The talking pads Nick scratched off at the hotel were the last set Jack had, but he still had ear buds. The suit was hot and tight. Felt like he was wearing inch thick latex body suit. Sweat was pooling in his boots. No matter how today ended, Nick was going to smell ripe. Although he had to admit that he could see a lot better in the full head helmet than he thought possible.

 

“Hey! Watch your paws.” Judy growled causing Nick to get the sudden urge to break some mammal’s fingers.

 

The halls were mostly empty of patrols, thankfully. The intruders were caught so there was no need for extra security on the inside. While it was nice knowing that getting caught wasn’t going to be much of an issue, it didn’t really help him figure out what to do next. The trajectory of the satellites still needed to be altered, the laser needed to be bombed, and Judy rescued. Maybe Jack as well. Maybe.

 

Nick turned the next corner and stopped dead in his tracks.

 

“You can’t be serious...” He muttered at the sign hanging from the ceiling.

 

The sign had four arrows on it. The first pointed to the right with the words “Acid Disposal” under it. The next pointed straight ahead saying “Command Center. The third one went forward but turned to the right at the end, pointing towards “Laser Containment”. And the last pointed to the right. “Satellite Control/Gift Shop”.

 

Nick weighed his options and took the first hallway on the right. A plan brewed in his mind as he headed down the hall.

 

* * *

 

Nick followed the goon dutifully. At least in appearance. If everything went accordingly, he and the two rabbits would be out of here in ten minutes. The goon, designated One-six-one, pushed a few buttons on the keypad. Apparently everyone aside from Goldeneye had to go by numerical designation. Nick looked down at his uniform, and the black stripe across his chest was emblazoned by the number zero zero seven. If he was feline, he might have taken that as an ill omen. Seven down, two left.

 

The door slid open and the smell hit him first. It was harsh, stabbing his olfactory senses like a million little knives. There was faint air of cleanliness about it, like someone used one bucket of chlorine for every cup of water in a pool. The heat was next. His toes were already stewing in his own juices and if he stayed here long he was sure he’d drown in his own sweat.

 

“With the satellites reflectors, I can target any location in the world, like the Secret Intelligence Service headquarters for instance. I’ll ransom the world off piece by piece.”

 

They walked in on the very large lion gloating, motioning to a large screen showing some building Nick didn’t recognize but could tell was important. Goldeneye was a large lion by any standard, but he was big enough to make some hippos look svelte. But none of his size lead Nick’s mind towards the same thoughts that Benji’s did. The last time Nick saw someone with that kind of build, he and Finn paid him in beer to crush the empty cans with his stomach muscles.

 

“Do you expect me to talk, Goldeneye? Give up state secrets?” For being bound and hung upside down above a giant vat of acid, Jack was rather calm. He was probably used to this happening. Nick made a mental note to make a bondage joke at Jack’s expense at some point.

 

Judy was doing her best to stay calm. But he could see her nose twitching at world record speeds.

 

Along with Goldeneye, there was another goon standing at the controls of the crane holding the rabbits. Auric Khan glanced at the goon.

 

“No, Mr. Savage, I expect you to die. Right after I kill all your little secret agent friends before your eyes.”

 

“Sir!” The guard Nick followed saluted. Nick quickly followed suit.

 

“What is it?” He turned and looked at them. And sure enough, his right eye was the natural golden color many lions had but his left was a literal golden sphere with a bright red dot at the center.

 

“Double-oh-seven here,” he motioned to the disguised Nick, “informed me that someone has swapped out our targeting chips.”

 

“What?” Goldeneye roared, bearing his fangs. “Who the hell did that, Oh-seven?”

 

“I wasn’t able to identify him. But I think it was a fox, sir.” Nick could see a slight smirk on Jack’s face and either Judy’s nose twitches slowed down or they were going so fast that he was only able to perceive one out of every five twitches.

 

“Where did he go?” The lion growled out each word.

 

“There was an open air vent. So he could…”

 

“He’d need access to one of the consoles connected to the satellites if he wanted to alter the trajectory. And the only private one is….” Goldeney’s natural eye went wide with realization. “My office!”

 

“You three, watch the prisoners! I’m going to get a fox pelt.” The lion leaped through the door.

 

One-six-one stiffened into security mode, keeping his eyes on the dangling rabbits. Nick looked around. The room was just a catwalk around the acid vat. There was the loading platform for the crane on the left side of the catwalk and a door on the opposite side of the room. No nice informative sign telling him where it lead this time. At the foot of the crane controls was a box that held everything they took off Judy and Jack. Leaning against the railing by his feet was a straight crowbar. How convenient.

 

“You two up for a little fun?” Nick asked the other two goons as he picked up the crowbar.

 

“We’re supposed to watch these two.” The one at the crane said, not moving.

 

“Doesn’t mean we can’t have fun. I feel like playing pinata with the rabbits. Especially Mr Savage.” Nick had a bit too much fun putting venom in the way he said the rabbit’s name.

 

“What did I ever do to you?”

 

“When you get over here, I’ll let Mr. Crowbar remind you.” He turned back to the other guards, “Come on Six-one,” he leaned over reading the number of the mammal at the controls, “Four-two-six, aren’t you the slightest bit bored? Wouldn’t a game of whack-the-rabbit liven the place up?”

 

“The boss wants him alive.”

 

“And he will be. Just a bit more bloodied with a couple of broken bones. That’s all. Honest.”

The two goons looked at each other and shrugged. Four-two-six pulled a lever on the console. The arm holding the two bunnies swiveled and stopped above the loading platform on the catwalk. The tips of Jack’s ears brushed against the metal floor.

 

“They’ve been searched, right? Hate to have one of them spring a surprise on us.”

 

“Oh yeah, I was extra thorough with the girl.” Nick could hear the slime in Two-six’s voice as the two goons walked towards the dangling rabbits.

 

“Is that so?” Nick patted the crowbar in his hand and smiled. This was going to feel good. Better than a deep tissue massage from the vixen triplets at Koslov’s massage parlor.

 

Taking aim at the henchmammal’s paw on the railing, Nick brought the crowbar down hard. Nick grinned with fangs as he heard the sweet sound of bones shattering. The crowbar was already swinging back around to greet One-six in the side of the head by the time the goon turned to see what was going on. One-six was down for the count but Two-six was still on his knees holding the mush of meat and bone fragments that was his paw.

 

Between gasps of pain he growled out, “What the hell?”

 

“Just be thankful I’m in a hurry.” Nick took a final swing and laid Two-six out.

 

Tossing the crowbar aside Nick began to fiddle with his helmet.

 

“So, would you say that” He pulled the  helmet came off revealing one of his smuggest smiles, “I showed up in the Nick of time?”

 

Judy rolled her eyes with a groan but Nick saw a smile growing on her face. He began to untie the two of them.

 

“How in blazes did you get the two chips? They’re in two different rooms and need to be pulled out at the same time!” Jack seemed genuinely surprised. That is not something that happens to him, Nick would wager.

 

Nick’s ears flattened against his head, “I...ah.. didn’t.”

 

Jack’s ears drooped, “They’re still targeting headquarters. I have to warn them.”

 

“Not necessarily.” He held up one finger holding the rabbit back. “What exactly would happen if there weren’t any diamonds in the laser?”

 

“The energy would stay within the housing of the charging chamber and violently explode.”

 

Digging into his pocket, Nick pulled a sack and tossed it to Jack, who found the diamonds inside.

 

“So what do they have in the laser, Nick?”

 

“Well Carrots, there happens to be this nice little shop in here. Lots of sweet treats, you’d like it. But I was partial to the rock candy.”

 

“That’s genius!” Judy leaped up and wrapped her arms around Nick.

 

“That’s exceedingly daft. If the laser is charging with improper materials... We need to get out of here and fast!”

 

“You sure? Because I swear I saw a sign for a spa just down…”

 

The unearthly sound of a demonic lion roar and wrenching metal interrupted Nick’s snark as Goldeneye burst through into the room, sending the door’s remains into the acid. The acrid smell of the room suddenly intensified as the door sizzled into nothing.

 

“Savage!” Goldeneye glared directly at them.

 

“We should-” Jack was going to finish with “run” but didn’t get the chance.

 

The lion roared again but this time a red beam shot out of his cybernetic eye, slicing across the catwalk between Nick and the rabbits. They all jumped away from the deadly laser which meant Nick moved closer to the enraged, cybernetically enhanced, laser shooting lion. The sliced catwalk groaned and tipped downward.

 

“SWEET BABY CHEESES!” Nick screamed.

 

Goldeneye ignored the exasperated fox and leaped over the vat of acid landing in front of the rabbits. Each foot fall from the feline shook the entire catwalk.

 

“You’re not going to escape me this time, Savage. I’m going to rip you to pieces and toss each one into the vat.”

 

Even if they worked together, Nick doubted the three of them could actually take the lion. Looking around he saw the crowbar and scurried over. But before he could grab it, he spied something more useful. Reaching into the box of confiscated items he pulled out a fancy looking pen. He pointed at the lion, twisted the barrel and right before he lifted the clip a horrible thought sailed through his mind.  _ Are you pointing that in the right direction? _

 

The dart shot out and hit Goldeneye on his shoulder. The lion twitched and froze in place. With an unnerving slowness he turned his head towards Nick, his paw plucking the dart from his shoulder.

 

“You think I wouldn’t wear a kevlar suit for simple attacks like that? When I’m done with the rabbits, I’m going to skin you alive, fox!”

 

He went to turn back again, the two rabbits were attempting to open the door.

 

“It won’t open without the code, Jack!”

 

“Five-two-seven-three-seven!” Eying mammal’s key presses was an skill he picked up early while hustling. It’s amazing how often wildebeests will forget to pull their ATM cards back out of the machine. But Nick never wiped any account clean. He’d only took a little chunk of change. A Stupidity Fee, he called it. He got an eyeful of the door code from the goon as he used it a few times reaching this room.

 

Nick tossed his gloves at Goldeneye. Fighting the lion was suicide, but he did have experience in running from savage mammals. Although Manchas didn’t have a laser eye. And it’d be harder for him to chase two groups of targets over one.

 

Jack tapped on the keypad and the door opened.

 

Goldeneye turned to Nick just as the fox tossed his boot at him. It was a direct hit right between the eyes. With an added bonus of drenching him in several cups of one-hundred percent genuine fox sweat.

 

“Fuck it, I’m killing you first.” He shifted down, readying a pounce.

 

“Actually” Nick smirked “I don’t think you have enough time for that. Catch!”

 

Nick tossed the last item at him. The lion caught it while his eyes glared only at Nick. Opening his right paw, he found a small wrist watch.

“Is this some kind of joke?”

 

A quip was on the tip of Nick’s tongue but the watch beat him to it and exploded. Most of Goldeneye was blasted into the vat of acid. The bits that weren’t dissolving splattered on the wall and Nick.

 

The smoke cleared and Nick saw the two rabbits staring at him from the opened door. Judy looked shocked. Almost appalled.

 

“‘Have enough time’? Really Nick?”

 

Jack shrugged, “I would have gone with ‘Your time’s run out’.”

 

“Oh, that’s not half bad.” Nick said as he carefully jumped over the drooping section of catwalk.

 

Looking out the opened door, Nick saw that it lead to an external fire escape down the side of the building. Jack’s car was several sand dunes away and on the opposite side of the building, another time consuming jaunt.

 

“Say, Jackie, how long do think it’ll be until-”

 

Klaxons began to blare and various warning light started to flash.

 

“Nevermind.” He motioned to the door like a concierge. “Un-distressed damsels first.”

 

Judy shot him a glance before exiting. “Pearls before swine, you mean?”

 

“Officer Hopps, I would think you, of all mammals, would be more sensitive to such speciesist terms.” Nick would have sounded more mocking but it was hard to feign being emotionally hurt while taking off his other sweat logged boot.

 

“How big of an explosion are we talking about?” Judy asked as they descended the metal stair case.

 

“If the blast was supposed to be big enough to take out ZI6 headquarters, we  _ might _ be able to outrun it.”

 

“What about that parking lot?” Judy pointed at the large flat lot with more than a smattering of cars.

 

Jack smirked. “Wilde, how about a little competition? First to hot wire a car gets to dri-” The rabbit turned to see Nick struggling with the top of the uniform. His chest fur was a wet ruffled mess. With a slurping pop the thick material released his head. What little remains of Goldeneye that splattered on his face were wiped off with the tight collar of the latex top.

 

Nick looked between the two silent bunnies, Judy with her drooped ears hiding her blush and Jack frozen mid-sentence.

 

“What? Like you haven’t you seen a shirtless mammal before.”

 

Jack cleared his throat. “Can you hot wire a car?”

The fox winced a little. He saw Judy’s flushed face ready to start judging him. So in preparation he held his paw up to her, attempting to thwart the condemning speech she was preparing.

 

“Yes.” He answered and quickly darted towards the parking lot hoping not to hear more on the subject until they reach a minimum safe distance from the pending explosion. There was already a disturbingly deep vibration coming from the building.

 

The rabbit’s amethyst eyes furrowed as she followed him. “And why would you know how to do that?”

 

“Can we talk about this later?” Nick immediately saw the perfect car. “Bingo!”

 

A Furrari. But not just any Furrari. A classic, cherry red, 350 Califurnia Spyder. It was even elongated to have a backseat. Perfect for three mammals evading an impending explosion in style.

 

The top was already down so he leaped right into the driver’s seat and began fiddling with the underside of the steering wheel. With a grunt he popped the covering off and began to feel around for the needed wires.

 

It’s not that his knowledge came from illicit actions. Lifting cars is too hot for the old con fox. Too many other mammals to deal with. Too many ways to get caught. The only reason he knew how to hot wire a car was Finnick’s van. It used to be in much worse shape and, for a while, hot wiring it was the only way to start it.

 

“Nick-” Judy stopped her eyes going wide and with several deliberate blinks. Her nose wrinkled. “Whoa, is that you?”

 

“Yup.” Nick slightly growled while he focused on the wires. Foxes, by their nature, are musky mammals. Running around in a rubber suit only amplified it.

 

“No amount of Musk Mask would have stopped this. Sorry.”

 

“Wow. That’s strong.” Judy was waving the air in front of her.

 

“Then just step…” he grunted out as he snipped the wires with his claws. “...back if my musk is that bad.”

 

Musk; the puberty bane of a select few species. While most just dealt with the typical vocal changes and general awkwardness. Species like foxes, wolverines, and skunks have the joyous advent of musk. Thankfully there are various  deodorants, fragrance covers, and musk masking products on the market. They usually come in bulk.

 

“No, it’s…” There was a tentative embarrassment to her voice. She got a little quieter but a little higher in pitch. Nick always thought that was one of the cutest things she unconsciously did. “It’s not bad. It’s just a bit much.”

 

Not bad? No one ever says that about musk. He doesn’t even really like his own when it’s this strong. The people who do say such either have some specific kinks or…

 

His train of thought derailed as the wires sparked together and brought the car roaring to life.

 

“Ha-ha! Still got it!”

 

A pretentious hum came from the taller rabbit. “Good work, but don’t you think it’s a little  conspicuous?”

 

“If you don’t want a ride, be my guest. There’s a whole bunch of cars for you to choose from.” Nick waved at all the other cars in the lot.

 

Jack was right though. This car would turn heads on a normal day. The rest of the lot was mostly newer vehicles. Ones with little digital trickery that made his method of hot wiring basically impossible. But he wasn’t going to tell Jack that. Why spoil the fun?

 

Shaking his head with a chuckle, Jack hopped into the back seat while Judy quickly made her way to the passenger side.

 

“Nope.” Chided Nick as he picked up Jack and swapped spots. “The two of you have been exposed to enough noxious fumes for a day. I can not in good conscious allow you two to stay downwind of me right now.”

 

“How gallant of you, Wilde.” Jack backed the car up and peeled out of the parking lot. By now some of the mammals were running out of the building in a panic.

 

“Gallant nothing.” Judy barked out a laugh. “It’s the same reason I drive the patrol car. He’s just a lazy fox.”

 

Stretching out as much as he could in the back seat, he looked at Judy with his patented smug smile. “And here I thought it was because you were the senior officer.”

 

* * *

 

It was green. That really caught Nick off guard. Explosions were supposed to be fiery reds, brilliant yellows, menacing oranges, with deep black billows of smoke. But it was green. The flash of it going off was a violently neon. It deepened into an emerald fire ball that faded into pale ghostly smoke. It was surreal. If it wasn’t for the massive shock wave that nearly blew them off the road, Nick would have just thought all the noxious vapors from the acid were affecting him.

 

As they made their way back into the city proper, Nick sighed contently. It was finally over. No more sewage tanks. No more visits to a murder happy nymphomaniac. No more vats of acid. But most importantly no more Jack Savage. Just him and Judy and their regular patrols.

 

“Taking the first flight back home, Jackie boy?”

 

“There’s still a few loose ends on my part I have to tend to. Nothing dangerous, mind you. But I’d also like to celebrate a bit.” Jack turned to glance at Nick lounging in the back. “How does dinner sound?”

 

“Sounds good to me. Especially if it’s as good as the last place we went to.” Judy chimed in almost hopping with excitement in her seat.

 

“Actually, Judy, I-”

 

Nick interrupted in a huff.“Remy’s. We’re going to Remy’s. I will not stand by while you two fawn over at over priced edible art pieces. We are getting real food.”

 

“I was going to suggest that, actually.”

 

* * *

 

A few days later the trio walked out of Remy’s as dusk approached with high spirits and full bellies. The food was just as good as Nick proclaimed. It was such an enjoyable night Nick was almost willing to reconsider some of his thoughts on the rabbit.

 

“I just don’t understand.” Jack chuckled holding the door open for the other two mammals. “La Salumeria is a five-star restaurant and I don’t think this place has been rated at all.”

 

“That root veggie medley was just divine. So much better than that deconstructed carrot souffle.”

 

“You want to know the reason for that?” Nick adjusted the toothpick in his mouth with his lips.

 

The two rabbits nodded.

 

“Salumeria is an edible fashion show. The chefs are more concerned about doing something new, wild, groundbreaking, or whatever buzzwords are flying around.”

 

“So that’s why my souffle was served in three small bowls with a straw?”

 

“Precisely. Delicatessen literally means ‘delicious things to eat’. And that fits Remy’s to a tee. They don’t care about being new or innovative. They just want to make food so damn good you wouldn’t dare think about eating anywhere else.”

 

“I’d say they did a bang up job of that but if you’ll excuse me.” Jack took out his valet tag and headed over to the podium where several red vested valets stood waiting.

 

Nick had time to think about things over the past couple of days. Mostly in the shower, demusking. And he came to the realization that Jack, as irritating as he found him to be, wasn’t so bad. It made sense that she would want to pursue something more with a member of her own species. And when Judy has her sights set on something, whether it’s being the first bunny cop, proving her worth as a meter maid, or doing everything in her power, including threatening a mob boss, to find a missing otter, she will not let anything get in her way. So Nick decided to take a side step and move out of her path, for once.

 

“Listen, Carrots, all I want is for you to be happy. I’m sure I missed my chance. So when Jack gets back, I won’t get in the way.”

 

Judy cocked her head to the side as one ear drooped.

 

“Nick, what are you-”

 

The sudden roar of an engine interrupted them. The cherry red Furarri pulled up to the curb with Jack at the wheel.

 

“So the spymobile bit the dust huh?”

 

“Surprisingly, no but it needed a touch up. In fact it should…” Jack looked behind him to see a valet pull up in his car with the hood down as well.

 

“What are you going to do with two cars, Jack?” Judy asked putting her hands on her hips.

 

The bigger rabbit smiled as he pulled the keys from the ignition.

 

“Nothing. I’m taking my car back with me.” He tossed the keys at Nick, who caught them with ease. “You on the other paw, seem like you could use a set of wheels.”

 

Nick turned his paw up and stared at the shiny silver keys. A car. His own car. The closest he’s ever been to having a car was the super rare occasion Finnick allowed him to drive the van.

 

But a voice echoed into his mind. Judy’s voice.

 

… _.Felony tax evasion… _

 

Internal Affairs would have a field day with an ex-con cop suddenly getting a pristine classic car like this.

 

“Jack, I… I don’t think I can-”

 

“Consider it a gift from the Zootoplian government. No charge, no taxes, no worries my  _ foxy  _ friend.”

 

Jack pressed a button, popping the trunk, “And here’s a bonus, personally from me.”

 

Judy and Nick went to the back of the car and lifted the trunk open. It was filled with boxes. All of them from the tailor that fitted Nick with his tux.

 

“Thought you might want to spruce up your wardrobe a little.”

 

Even Judy was slack jawed by the gesture. If each box of clothes were anywhere close to the price of the tux, the trunk’s content was worth more than the car.

 

While the duo were gobsmacked by the car and everything, Jack got out and tipped his valet and sent him on his way.

 

“Jack… wow. I don’t even know what to say.”

 

“That’s a first.” Judy sniped.

 

Jack waved his paw, “The two of you did exemplary, especially you, Nick. You took the biggest risks on this mission and thanks to you we came out on top. For your efforts, and your suffering, this is the least I could do.”

 

“As great as that is for Nick, what do I get as a parting gift?”

 

“Ah, yes, Judy.” Jack reached into his jacket and pulled out a small box.

 

Sitting in a fine velvet case was a brand new carrot pen.

 

“I already have one.” She pulled out her own.

 

“But this one fits ZI6 standards. Better quality recording, with its size it can hold three tranq darts and…” Jack pulled out a card from the box, reading the inscription with a smirk, “a little surprise from my Quartermaster. Just twist the top of the carrot.”

 

Judy twisted it. Two metal prongs shout out next to the green stem of the pen. Thick arcs of bright electricity jolted out from them with loud crackle. Judy giggled.

 

“Well my dad did want me to carry a taser.”

 

Having heard Judy tell the tale of the fox taser from her father, the two chuckled at the little inside joke.

 

“But sadly, I must make my way home.”

 

He walked up to Judy and took her paw, raised it up, and planted a small kiss on the top of it. And here it comes. Nick closed his eyes and preemptively rolled them against whatever saccharin lace platitudes Jack will use to persuade Judy to come with him.

 

“You do our species proud Miss Hopps and it was an honor working with you.”

 

Or maybe he’ll do that later, when she’s not next to her partner. That has to be why he didn’t ask her.

 

Jack patted over to Nick with a smirk. Reaching up he dusted off Nick’s shoulders, tugged his shirt down flush, and adjusted his tie’s length.

 

“Honestly, I have half a mind to stay just to make sure you use those suits properly.” Jack continued to tidy up Nick.

 

“Oh please don’t. I’ve had one rabbit meddle in my affairs already. I don’t think I could survive a second one.”

 

“Shame.” Jack said as he pulled Nick’s tie to his collar. “It would have been one hell of a Wilde ride.”

 

Then something strange happened. Jack tugged on Nick’s tie while his other hand went to the fox’s back. With a small bit of pressure, Nick found himself in a horizontal pose, looking up at Jack as the rabbit leaned in and closed his eyes.

 

There were lips on his lips. Rabbit lips on his lips. The shock of it all blanked his mind while his eyes became big enough to project movies onto.

 

There wasn’t anything Nick could do in his stunned form as the rabbit’s lips began to move against his own. Slowly his lips were separated and something slithered into his mouth. Alarms and sirens began to ring in his head as his arms started to flail around in a blind panic. Jack Savage’s oral assault felt like it wouldn’t end as his tongue explored the fox’s mouth. In reality it was only a few seconds. Brief enough not to cause a scene but long enough for Judy to remember she had her phone on her.

 

With a wet smack, Jack separated from Nick.

 

“What in the hell was that?”

 

Stunned, Jack stood blinking at the vexed vulpine. Never once in his long and illustrious career as a secret agent had a kiss he gave out cause such a drastic reaction.

 

In the frayed wires of his mind, Nick tried to connect more of them together in an attempt to regain full cognition. A few connected and he spat out, “Why’d you kiss me and not Hopps?”

 

“Because I prefer males.” Nick’s furious rewiring of his mind came to a screeching halt at Jack’s next words, “Don’t you?”

 

“Of course not. What would make you think that?”

 

Cocking his head accusingly, the rabbit began to count on his paw, “You did got excited while gawking at me in the shower, you have a little fennec friend who calls you ‘daddy’, and I hate to be stereotypical, but your choice in clothes is more flamboyant than a pride parade.”

 

With each point he brought up Nick’s jaw gaped lower and lower. Eventually picking his jaw off the ground he began his hasty rebuttal.

 

“So what, I’m supposed to only where dark and drab clothing? Keeping the idea in other mammal’s heads that foxes are ready at a moment’s notice to vanish into the shadows and begin burglarizing the joint? Hustling 101, old chap: Never look like you’re up to no good.

 

“And Finn’s been my friend since I was just a kit on the streets. He’s like family. And like family we annoy the hell out of each other. He hates the father-son shtick, so I always jab him with it whenever I can.”

 

“Then what does he jab you with?”

 

“A baseball bat.”

 

Finn had to compensate for his size and his comparatively blunter wit.

 

“And as for the shower; I was thinking of Judy!” His arm shot out and pointed at the other bunny among them.

 

New alarm bells were ringing in Nick’s head taking him a few more correctly crossed wires and several overly hard heart beats to realize what he just shouted.

 

Judy was idealistic, a tad naive, but no one could call her an idiot. She had to have some kind of inkling of Nick’s fondness for her. He fully intended to out all of his playfully flirtatious banter as just the final wall surrounding his true feelings and confess them to her. Eventually. Shouting on a sidewalk that thoughts of her revved his engine was not his intended way of breaching that subject. Not by a long shot.

 

Nick froze terrified. He was acutely aware of the grey blob in his periphery and not much else. She moved, shifting position, but didn’t come closer.

 

“Is that why you always lag behind when we jog?” There was a bit of sauce on that accusation.

 

Nick tempted fate and turned towards her. She didn’t appear angry which was a good sign.

 

“Not ah… primarily, no. Just being a lazy fox.”

 

“Then would you say,” a grin grew on her face that Nick should have charged her a licensing fee for using, “it’s a seconderrière reason?”

 

Neither of them could hold it for long. Nick’s petrified face twitched and coughed as laughter forced its way out. Likewise Judy’s smirk started to crack with a slight huff and crumbled as she snorted trying to keep her laughter at bay.

 

“Zootopians, your humor is worse than your tea.” Jack chided.

 

Leaning on the passenger door Nick relaxed as the awkward moment seemed to have passed. Judy walked up, paws behind her back, wobbling on her feet like an innocent child.

 

“So what you said earlier, about wanting me to be happy and missing your chance?”

 

Nick gave a slight hum as acknowledgment.

 

“You weren’t going to put up a fight? You were just going to roll over and let some bunny we met like a week ago steal me away?”

 

Jack scoffed at the idea of that but let Judy continue.

 

“What kind of fox are you if you can’t even fight for someone you care about?”

 

She was right. He was just going to let it happen and probably let the consequences stew about until it erupted from within. Probably take it out on a perp and get reprimanded for police brutality.

 

“Wait a second, did you  _ want _ to be fought over? Like in those terrible paperbacks you read?”

 

Her face flushed as she gave an overly drawn out no.

 

“Want to appease the bunny, Jack?” Nick gave the rabbit next to him a slight elbow jab. “Tussle around as we proclaim our undying love and devotion to her?”

 

“Not really.” Jack was unable to hide his total disinterest.

 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Nick moved his paw from the top of Jack’s head to his his chest, measuring him. “Wouldn’t be a fair fight.”

 

“Oh, just because you bigger than me you think you could beat me?”

 

The smugness level of Nick’s smirk reached a new peak as he glanced between the two rabbits before answering.

 

“I’m also taller.”

 

Glaring at him with a cold fury Jack spoke barely above a whisper. “That’s lewd, Wilde.”

 

“But not wrong.” Nick chuckled.

 

With a pat on the back Nick passed the rabbit and headed to the driver’s side of his new car. “No hard feelings, Jack?”

 

“Apparently you only have those for her.”

 

“Now who’s lewd?” He turned to Judy. “Want to take the car for a spin, Carrots?”

 

She hopped into the car, landing on the passenger seat then bouncing into the driver’s seat. “Do you even have your license? I mean, I am always driving the cruiser.”

 

“Well if you want, I’ll let you drive but only under one condition.”

 

“What’s the condition?”

 

“Give me a kiss and prove to me not all bunnies are terrible kissers.”

 

The spy scoffed again. “You both are aware that I have a license to kill?”

 

Cars zoomed by behind Nick as he stood next to his own, his tie flapping from the turbulence as they passed. Judy grabbed Nick’s tie pulling it towards her. He leaned in with it. A loud motor roared up and Nick felt something wrap around his body and suddenly Judy, and everything else, blurred out of his vision.

 

The thin but strong arm set him on the back of the bike, a black and blood red sports bike. On pure instinct of self preservation, Nick wrapped his arms around the driver. Their outfit matched

their bike, except for the windblown tail that was wrapped around their waist. The jacket was thick and protective, but he could still feel what his paws were suddenly clamped onto and quickly moved them around her waist.

 

Honking horns nearly faded before Nick registered them as they passed between cars and cut through lanes. Several turns later she stopped on the side of a less traffic dense street. With a very flexible stretch of a leg, she swiveled to face Nick.

 

“Thanks for the ride but I really need to-”

 

A cold steel barrel pushed against his abdomen.

 

“Stay right where you are, Nicholas Wilde.”  

 

Taking off the helmet, Nick stared at a face he hoped never to see.

 

“Or do you still prefer Sean Fuzpatrick?”

 

The rage that was in her eyes when she set him on fire was gone, but they still held a gleam of hunger.

 

“Sean? You mean my poor dearly departed twin cousin? Died in a freak suit fire accident the other day. I was just on my way to buy a wreath for the funeral.”

 

“You just happen to hang out with the same rabbits he did or are they twin cousins too?”

 

“As a matter of fact, yes . We met at a support group for twin cousins. Helped us a lot. Perhaps you should find a support group for street racing kidnappers for yourself.”

 

“Cut the shit, Wilde.” The gun cocked as she leaned in nose to nose. “I hate letting prey escape.”

 

In a blink Nick was being orally assaulted yet again. Unlike with Jack, he was very cognizant of what was going on but, as much as he wanted to push her away, he was acutely aware of the gun jammed at his stomach. Self preservation meant just sitting back and taking another tongue lashing. As she began to grind directly against him, thanks to their awkward seating arrangement, Nick let out a low sorrowful moan that was misinterpreted.

 

“You like  _ that _ , Nick?”

 

He wanted to to say no and that he was absolutely sick of everyone except Judy kissing him. But yet again, he had a gun held to him, so he just glared.

 

The screech of tires caught both their attention as an Aston Marmot swerved around the corner towards them, two gray ears behind the driver’s seat.

 

“Oh it looks like someone’s jealous. You drive. I’ll shoot.” Vivian pulled out another larger semi-auto gun that was hidden on the bike.

 

“You’re going to have to move if you want me to drive.”

 

She shook her head with a salacious grin. “I like this position.”

 

With a scowl, Nick revved the bike, kicked the parking stand up, and took off at a very unsafe speed.

 

The roar of the Aston Marmot’s engine was deafened by a loud burst of gunfire. The rattling bark of the gun jarred Nick enough to cause him to server, nearly smashing into a sign post.

 

The second burst of gunfire didn’t phase him, but Vivian’s grinding did. Every time she fired she would grind harder into Nick. Her moans would have been drowned out by the gun if her muzzle wasn’t next to his ear. Between the adrenaline and the physical stimuli, his body was betraying him. Which didn’t go unnoticed by the gun toting psychopath.

 

“Take the next left, sweety.”

 

The light was red and the traffic was constant, Zootopia on a Friday night. A left turn into traffic would mean death at this speed. Thankfully foot traffic was light, so Nick turned sharply onto the sidewalk. It only took a few screaming pedestrians for the mammals to clear out of his trajectory.

 

“Not much of a risk taker, are you, Wilde? Take the next right.”

 

He followed her instructions like a gun wielding GPS for a few more turns before speaking.

 

“Might help if you tell me where we’re headed.”

“Right now I just want to shake the rabbit off our trail. Then we can get back to having our fun. Another right into that alley, sweety.”

 

With a screech of the tire Nick deftly slid into the alley. It was cramped causing him to weave around dumpsters and junk laying about. The only light the alley had was from the street lights at its ends. If it wasn’t for his natural night vision, he would haven’t seen some of the obstacles until it was too late.

 

“Take a left at the street. We should have lost him by now.”

 

They were nearly at the end when a familiar car swerved into view, blocking the exit of the alley with its rear bumper. A collision was imminent. He pulled the brake lever but that wouldn’t be enough.

 

Slamming into the rear of the Aston Marmot the two foxes were tossed into the air. Time slowed as Nick flailed. There was a loud bang as Vivian pulled the trigger. Being thrown into the air, the gun was no longer directly on him allowing him to see the bullet streak through the moment heading towards him. It flew into his flowing shirt like it was a cloud. Heat and pain seared across his side as the bullet kept traveling, now obscured by Nick’s shirt.

 

There was another discharge from the gun but that one was wildly off its mark, slamming into the brick edifice of a building. A third shot was reading as he saw the hammer fall back. But the angle was off and that shot would miss him as well. But as it fired it did signal the end of Nick’s ponderous perception of time.

 

He slammed into the back of both seats of the car and rolled into the meager back seat. His right side felt like it was on fire. He sat up, doing his best to ignore the pain. Ancient instincts told him to flee. That the threat was still around and running would be best. The dazed vixen landed in the passenger seat, her guns thrown from her paws after she haphazardly entered the car.

 

A gray paw reached over and pulled the knob on the radio. Straps shot out of the passenger seat with a whip crack. Vivian struggled violently against the restraints, rocking the car hard enough to make the suspension creak.

 

“Jack, you striped bastard! He’s my prey, my fox! I’ll tear-” She stopped and leaned her face in as far as she could. “You’re not Jack.”

 

Nick saw Judy lean in becoming nose to nose with the vixen. “And that’s the first correct thing you’ve said. I’m not Jack and... “she pulled out her carrot pen and, with a quick flick, two metal prongs popped out of the top, “that’s not your fox. He’s mine.”

 

Judy jabbed the business end of her taser into Vivian’s side. Her convulsions were even more violent and Nick could swear there were a few jolts so strong he could make out her skeletal structure. When she finally pulled away both the tip of the taser pen and Vivian were smoldering.

 

“Have a nice flight, hussy.” Judy kicked the radio knob back in and, with a foowmp of a small rocket, the seat shot straight into the night sky. Nick watched the parachute deploy and subsequently become snagged on some jutting architecture leaving her dangling several stories high. Taking his eyes off the stranded psycho he saw Judy staring at him over the head of the driver’s seat.

 

“Are you alright, Nick?”

 

“Well…” He lifted his shirt up, exposing the small graze just under his rib cage. “That might need some antiseptic at some point but I think that’s the worst of it”

 

With a sigh, all the apprehension in eyes face vanished.

 

“So I’m your fox, huh?”

 

With barely a hop, she sat on the top of the seat, her legs dangling delightfully in front of Nick.

 

“I honestly didn’t know I needed to make that distinction until tonight. Kind of figured it was just assumed. At least I now know why Jack kept asking questions about you when we had dinner.”

 

Nick let out a bark of a laugh. All that frustration over that dinner now seemed so childish.

 

“The two of you spent the entire meal talking about me? I’m surprised my ears weren’t on fire that night.”

 

“I kept trying to talk about his struggles as a rabbit spy but his answers were rather terse and would just keep asking about you.”

 

“Asking what?”

 

“Mostly normal things. Although I did think it was odd that he asked what your favorite musical was.”

 

Laying back down Nick chuckled.

 

“I’m more of a rock opera kind of guy.”

 

He felt Judy land gingerly on top of him. Her legs straddling him. There was no doubt that she could feel the results of Vivian’s physical ministrations. A questioning humm that came more like purr emanated from the rabbit.

 

“Do you get this excited every time you crash a vehicle?”

 

“If you landed on me after the train crash, you’d know the answer to that question, Carrots.”

 

Minding the wound on his side, she crawled up his body coming face to face with the fox.

 

“Now where were we before we were interrupted?” Her violet eyes smoldered.

 

“I think you were just about to prove to me than your species can be decent kissers.”

 

Her paw slid up to his muzzle. “Here’s to keeping the rabbit reputation untarnished from a fox’s lies and slander.”

 

For the third time today another set of lips pressed against his. But they were finally the lips he hoped for, so he kissed back against them. Her paw rubbed against his muzzle before she lifted her head away, parting their lips.

 

“So, is my species’ name cleared of the charges officer?”

 

Tapping his chin Nick hummed thoughtfully.

 

“I don’t know. That kiss was better but it could have been a fluke. I mean, I was just held hostage at gunpoint and in a motorcycle accident. My kiss receptors could just be knocked out of whack. I just might need a few more to be sure.”

 

“Sounds like a hustle to me.” Her hand slid to the back of his neck. “But a rabbit has to do what a rabbit has to do.”

 

* * *

 

The small street he found his car on was deserted. It was a weather worn stretch of road. An unused and untended in an unvisited section of Zootopia. It’s rare but there are places like this. Eventually it’ll be found and, depending on who finds it, will turn it into a nice hideout for the unlawful or paved over and converted to a shiny new mini-mall that will go deserted in a few years.

 

Pulling the Furrarri to the side of the road, he killed the engine and got out. The gentle rumbling of the Aston Marmot he walked towards filled the cool night air. Noticing the passenger seat missing he looked around and saw it dangling off the side of a building. Even from the dim streetlights he could tell it was a fox that wasn’t wearing a garish shirt.

 

As he closed in on his car he saw it shifting, as if something, or someone, was moving around in it. Drawing his pistol, he crept forward and carefully looked into the backseat. He frowned at what he saw. The little rabbit cop laid on top of the fox, they playing a very in depth game of tonsil hockey. She had opened most of his shirt and while one paw held his face, the other roughly stroked the thick red fur. Jack sighed wistfully before looking towards the driver’s seat.

 

Flicking a panel on above the inside door handle, Jack revealed several switches with different insignias on them. He flicked the one with the image of a fire and took a quick step back from the car and adjusted his cufflinks with a smirk.

 

There was a whirring noise as several small nozzles poked out from the sides of the walls, causing Nick and Judy to pry their faces apart.

 

“What was that?” Judy asked before a several very cold jets of foam covered everything inside of the car.

 

With a piercing scream she leaped out of the foam filled vehicle looking like she popped out of a marshmallow.

 

“Jack! Why did… How could… What the…” Unable to articulate words Judy just let out an aggravated groan as Nick carefully exited the car and limply walked over to the two bunnies.

 

“What was that for, super spy?” Nick, too, looked like he had a sever run in with a creamy confection.

 

“Stealing my car. Getting it shot up and it’s rear smashed by a bike. Engaging the ejector seat. Leading me on and giving me the cold shoulder. Whichever one you prefer.”

 

The cold look of contempt melted away into a smile. “Cold shoulder?”

 

Nick laughed, nudging Judy with his elbow.

 

“Get it?  _ Cold _ shoulder.”

 

Judy turned and glared up at the fox, making him wonder if there was a female rabbit equivalent of blue balls.

 

Looking back skyward to the stranded and unconscious Vivian, Jack put his pistol away.

 

“The keys are in your car, Wilde. You dropped them when you were fox-napped. You two go ahead and leave, I’ll take care of her,” he nodded towards the vixen, “and my car.”

 

Having spent the whole time during this mission being derisive with Jack, it almost felt strange that he didn’t want to leave him feeling so foul towards them. Admittedly his blind and unfounded jealousy was heavily to blame.

 

“Judy, go ahead and start the car, I got to talk with Jack.”

 

She paused wanting to question that decision, but he was her partner, possibly in more than just a professional sense after tonight, and she had to trust him. She nodded and headed over to the car.

 

“What is it, Wilde, more jokes at my expense?”

 

“No. I mean, I have been waiting for a good opportunity at a bondage joke after finding you tied up but I think that ship has sailed.”

 

The rabbit’s shoulders tensed up as he turned to the fox.

 

“Is everything a joke to you, Wilde? Do you take nothing seriously?”

 

“Oh trust me, Jackie boy, I know I’m a pill. Did you ask Judy how we met?”

 

The spy crossed his arms over his chest with a frown.

 

“You were a con artist that had information on one of the victims.”

 

“I conned her into buying me and Finn, dressed in an adorable elephant onesie by the way, an elephant popsicle. She found out and hated me. Then blackmailed me into helping her. Which made me hate her and do everything in my power to hinder her investigation.”

 

“Do you have a point with this?”

 

“I hated you on sight because of how she looked at you but at the end of all of…” Nick gestured to the car and ejector seat with the fox strapped to it, “...this, I really don’t want to.”

 

“Because I’m no longer a competitor?”

 

“No because even after how I treated you, you were still a standup guy. Besides, how can I fault you for wanting this?” He waved his paws at his foam covered body. “You do have some good taste in foxes.”

 

The concrete frown on the rabbit cracked and twitched upward.

 

“Damn it, Wilde. You know this is why she loves you, right?”

 

“Apparently it’s why every bunny loves me.”

 

The two stood together as the previously stoney air warmed around them.

 

“So, are we good?”

 

Jack nodded. “Yeah. We are. I will be. It’s just… It’s just that the only people who have ever rebuffed my advances usually wanted to kill me.”

 

“So sorry to break that streak.” Nick’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

 

He stole a glance back at Judy in the car, his ears lowered a little.

 

“Are you still leaving tonight?”

 

Shaking his head, Jack motioned to the unconscious Vivian. “I have her to deal with now. Honestly I could if she was dead. But she’s worked with some of the worst of the worst and if she can give us anything they are up to, I’m duty bound to bring her in for that.”

 

“Great!” Jack raised one questioning eyebrow at him.

 

“Not great but… nevermind.” He waved the rabbit closer and huddled around him like there were other ears listening. In a hushed tone he continued. “ So you’ll have a bit more time here, right? There’s a place called ‘All Fur Knot’ in Happytown. I’d suggest taking a cab, your car would end up just a frame on cinder blocks. I’m sure there many things of interest for you there, and by all means don’t let this stop you from enjoying them, but as a treat from me to you talk to the mammal working the counter. Should be a beaver named Saul. Tell him you’re a friend of ‘Nathan Feral’ and that you’d like to visit his fox den.”

 

“And then what?”

 

“And then you just enjoy a very special treat.” The warmth drained from Nick’s face. “One that you can  _ not _ tell anyone else about. Ever. Or I  _ will  _ be on that list of people who want to kill you.”

 

For the first time Jack saw the ancient nature between them; meek prey and vicious predator. In that moment he could see Nick being true to his word, regardless of Jack’s training and experience. A mental image of a muscular red furred demon chasing him down popped into his head causing his ears to fall back. It was humbling. It was terrifying. It was hot.

 

The flushed faced rabbit nodded meekly.

 

Nick’s smile reappeared as he stood back up. “You bunnies, so emotional. Come here.”

 

Wrapping his arms around the smaller mammal, Nick brought Jack into a hug, which consequently also gave the bunny a light foam coating. Sure he apologized and even gave the rabbit the key to a secret he swore to never show anyone else, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t above getting a little petty revenge.

 

His eyes shot open as he realized there was a glaring flaw to his petty revenge.

 

“Take your hand off my ass, please.”

 

“Sorry, Wilde, I saw an opening and had to take it.”

 

Seeing Jack’s grin as they separated, Nick knew things were going to be alright between them. Two quick honks came from the Furarri.

 

“You’re not stealing my fox too, are you Jack?” Judy called out from a distance.

 

“Wouldn’t dare to try.” He called back to her but quieted his next words. “Especially seeing what happened to the last mammal that tried.”

 

Turning Nick started to head towards the car.

 

“Wilde, wait a moment.” Jack took out his pen a scrawled on a business card before handing it to the fox.

 

“If you and Hopps are ever in Zootropolis, give me a call.”

 

Nick read the card.

 

_ Zooniversal Exports _

  1. _Savage_



_ 4131 Longstream Road, Zootropolis _

 

There were numbers for telephone and fax under that. Flipping it over was the paw written phone number and Jack’s initials followed by a few x’s and o’s. He chuckled before pocketing the card.

 

“Thanks. Hopefully we won’t be on some death defying caper if we ever make it over there.”

 

“Oh, to be so lucky.”

 

They laughed and parted ways as friends. Jack went to his damaged car to retrieve the grappling hook from the trunk while Nick sat shotgun in his new car.

 

“Don’t you want to drive?” Judy asked as he buckled up.

 

“I’m a mammal of my word, Carrots. Bunnies can be good kissers, so you get to drive.”

 

“How valiant of you.”

 

Reclining his seat Nick watched the scenery behind Judy’s head zip by. “Where are we headed?”

 

“My place.”

 

Nick sat up with a toothy grin. “Already? My my, I heard bunny relationships were fast.”

 

She scoffed as she turned down the street towards her place. “You wish. We have work in the morning, remember? Aw geez, look at all this traffic.”

 

“Ah yes, dreaded gainful employment. How could I forget. I wonder how the Chief is doing without us anyway…”

 

* * *

 

“It was panic in the streets tonight,” The tiger reporter motioned to the street he stood next to, “as a high speed shootout took place in the quiet streets of Savannah Central. There’s at least five different pile ups and while there have yet to be any reported fatalities, ambulances have not stopped coming. No word on how many wounded, but they are already diverting the ambulances from Zootopia General to Southpaw Medical.”

 

The screen switched back to the studio as the female snow leopard gathered her notes.

 

“This is the third random act of violence this week, just a few days after the Gold N.I. Candy Factory exploded and-”

 

The screen shut off and Chief Bogo began rubbing his temples as he looked down at the front page of the paper from a few days ago.

 

“Fire-Fox Crashes Pawaiian Party”

  
He kept trying to remind himself that no one has tied them to any of these events. At least not yet. Regardless, he was going to take a second dose of his blood pressure medicine before they came in. And a third after he finished yelling at them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand it's done. Not the best, I felt like i should have done better editing but this massive chapter was a wall in my mind, So here it is. Might add more in the notes after I get some sleep.


End file.
